Wednesday, October 8, 2008

12 Steps to Seahawks Recovery

by: Michael Steffes

Many of you who know me personally know that several years ago I had to make some changes in my life. This included joining a 12 step recovery program. I thought I would adapt those famous steps to the Seahawks as a light and fun way to look at the team's situation. And don't worry, so far this season has not driven me to drink, although we are getting awfully close (Just kidding, ma!).

12 Steps to Seahawks Recovery

1) Admit that the defense is a problem, and that their current approach to playing defense has become unmanageable.

2) The Hawks need to believe that they have the talent, and they need a motivated coaching staff to restore their sanity.

3) Make the decision that this season is salvageable and that they need to begin to play again with heart and passion.

4) Make a searching and ruthless evaluation of the current starters, replacing those who are not getting the job done. Loyalty is not an option anymore.

5) Admitting to the fans, and the media, that their record is an indication of the type of football team they truly are.

6) Become completely and entirely ready to improve that record if they want to be regarded as a decent football team and stop being laughed at by the national media.

7) Humbly admit that this is not the same football team as recent years and that relying on performances from previous years has made them overconfident and ineffective.

8) Take the season ticket holder list, who has paid to watch this monstrosity, and become willing to make amends to them by kicking the crap out of Green Bay this weekend.

9) Make amends to the Seahawks faithful by not only kicking the crap out of Green Bay, but also beating the crap out of Tampa on national TV, so that fans can once again wear their Seahawks gear in public.

10) Continue to improve over the next 12 weeks and slowly become the team that they thought they were when they decided they could win by playing uninspired football.

11) Seek through personnel and roster manipulation to improve the team on a weekly basis, always making sure that they are putting the best team on the field, despite salary or experience.

12) Having had a football awakening, put the Cardinals in their place in weeks 11 and 17, crushing their hopes and dreams, and then win the playoff game that will take place at Qwest in January in dominating fashion, thus restoring order to this crazy month of Seahawks fandom.

I'm just having a little fun with this, folks. I hope it doesn't rustle anyone's feathers. That was not the intention. Anyway, today is Wednesday, so on to the Pack.

Also, you may notice a diminished presence from me on the blog this week. My school quarter started and I have to teach no less than 10 Intro to Computers classes this week. I will do my best, but lucky for you, a higher power has brought you Chris, Gonzo, and M. ~END~